Backstabber or just too Self-absorbed

I would like to share a story. I know this smart and assertive person who always tries new things, travels a lot and is overall engaged in all kind of things. He dated my high school friend which is how we met. I cannot say that we were close but when we met we got along well.

He is an entrepreneur. I want to be an entrepreneur but lack the drive. Still, it was fascinating to watch him work on his ideas, look for partners and funding. As an outsider, I could see some of his flaws like no patience for people who think differently and a stubbornness to do what he things is the best. But I also saw his drive.

I wanted to work with him.

And I got my wish fulfilled.

After weeks and months … After being on the inside … After being privy to how he actually does things and not only how he presents them … I grew dissatisfied and, consequently, the idolised picture I made up slowly got shadier until it combusted.

But he is not a backstabber for his work habits. Or his character flaws. Or for me being stupid enough to idolise him. No, I wish it would be that simple. Remember, we work together if I can call it that.

This only made the situation escalate to now. This morning, I got his email. Then I used the following hours trying to contact him via email, phone and social media.

This was a trend for some time. The only time I wasn’t left alone working on my part of the work, was when he needed a favour. I heard about so many catastrophes and disasters which made him go back on the deal. The only time I got an apology was when he needed another favour.

Today was no different. There was yet another unforeseen disaster and I was left alone dealing with the consequences.

Today was no different. However, it was my tipping point. The jar of sh*t I could take became full.

I confess: I am venting my anger. I have given chances and trying to understand but now I just feel used. I don’t know he even knows what he did.

And in the end, this is why he is NOT a backstabber. That would indicate that he had some kind of intent. No, he is just too self-absorbed in his own life to the point he might not even have considered how his actions will make me feel.

And I allowed him to get away with this kind of behaviour until now. I am so happy I can also blame myself for this.