Backstabber or just too Self-absorbed

I would like to share a story. I know this smart and assertive person who always tries new things, travels a lot and is overall engaged in all kind of things. He dated my high school friend which is how we met. I cannot say that we were close but when we met we got along well.

He is an entrepreneur. I want to be an entrepreneur but lack the drive. Still, it was fascinating to watch him work on his ideas, look for partners and funding. As an outsider, I could see some of his flaws like no patience for people who think differently and a stubbornness to do what he things is the best. But I also saw his drive.

I wanted to work with him.

And I got my wish fulfilled.

After weeks and months … After being on the inside … After being privy to how he actually does things and not only how he presents them … I grew dissatisfied and, consequently, the idolised picture I made up slowly got shadier until it combusted.

But he is not a backstabber for his work habits. Or his character flaws. Or for me being stupid enough to idolise him. No, I wish it would be that simple. Remember, we work together if I can call it that.

This only made the situation escalate to now. This morning, I got his email. Then I used the following hours trying to contact him via email, phone and social media.

This was a trend for some time. The only time I wasn’t left alone working on my part of the work, was when he needed a favour. I heard about so many catastrophes and disasters which made him go back on the deal. The only time I got an apology was when he needed another favour.

Today was no different. There was yet another unforeseen disaster and I was left alone dealing with the consequences.

Today was no different. However, it was my tipping point. The jar of sh*t I could take became full.

I confess: I am venting my anger. I have given chances and trying to understand but now I just feel used. I don’t know he even knows what he did.

And in the end, this is why he is NOT a backstabber. That would indicate that he had some kind of intent. No, he is just too self-absorbed in his own life to the point he might not even have considered how his actions will make me feel.

And I allowed him to get away with this kind of behaviour until now. I am so happy I can also blame myself for this.

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Author: saymacnet

MA graduate from a prestigious university but working a minimum wage job in hospitality. Ready to make my impact on society but stuck in an unvariable situation of work, sleep and applying for jobs. Desperate for change while growing frustrated every day. The average over-educated under-skilled millennial.

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